Sometimes, when dancing, you have to let go and just trust. If you’ve got a partner, you have to trust that they won’t drop you or step on your toes. If you’re alone, you have to let go of your inhibitions and stop wondering what others will think of you.
This applies to life, too. Sometimes, you have to let go and just trust. And sometimes, that can be scary as hell.
I find myself doing the throw-my-hands-up-in-the-air-in-unabashed-trust move, only to take a good look at what I’m doing and grab onto that safety bar in a gut-clenching, reflexive spasm, like letting go on a roller coaster. There you are, feeling all secure in your seat, hands waving in the air, then you tip over the top of that hill and… hold on for dear life, even though you’re just as secure as you were on the way up. I have to learn to keep my hands up there, and just scream my head off like all the other thrill-seekers.
First I was dancing, now I’m riding roller coasters. Because that’s the kind of blog post this is going to be.
It’s never the metaphysical stuff I fear. “The Shift”? 2012? Unleashing the oddness that is the Real Wren upon the world (well, perhaps y’all should be afraid of that one)? Unearthing old psychological scars? Downloads? Hippies (I live in Colorado, I had to make a South Park reference)? Nope. All good. Bring it on. I want to bend the metaphoric spoons with the best of them. It’s the old Maslow’s hierarchy of needs thing: I look at my bank account, which I was completely unconcerned about this morning, and clench. I start adding up bills in my head, minus planned income, and I start freaking out about where the remainder is going to come from. This morning I was in happy, it-will-all-come-in-time land. Then cold, hard numbers had me looking up at the sky, wondering where the hell that you-don’t-have-to-worry-about-this-anymore windfall is when I really need it. Which of course (*cough*LawOfAttraction*cough*), is exactly what I shouldn’t be thinking. Thinking I need, thinking I want, thinking I don’t have it already just attracts… needing, wanting, and not having. It’s fear-based thinking. I need to dance on over to the love side of the spectrum.
I’ve already been working on exercises to change the way I think about money. How many of us have this problem: I’ve heard over and over how “dirty” money is. I’m not speaking metaphorically, here: I mean it has germs on it. Think about where it’s been. So I got into the habit of, touching money = germy, so I should wash my hands after I touch it.
Think about what message I was sending the universe: money is dirty and gross, I don’t like touching it, and I must wash myself clean of its essence any time I have some in my hands.
That’s a solid F- in Law of Attraction abundance thinking.
So I’m trying to override the hand-washing need and the “ew, germs” thoughts; I keep two dollar coins in my pocket (dollar coins make me happy, I like them) to look at and think, “I like this money; I like holding it; I’m keeping it” when I come across them; I’m doing an exercise from The Power that has to do with how you store money in your pocket/wallet, and what you think of when you look at it.
OK, so I promote my grade to a C-. I’m still looking at that bank account and going, “I must plan! That bill is due, and that one is soon due, and that one is overdue! I must know how I’m going to pay them! I must have details! And what about the rent?!”
I need to look at my bank account and think, “I have so much money in there! I never have to worry about this again! I should go car shopping and buy Einstein right now!”
And as much as I try to Stuart Smalley my way around that one, my inner “realist” is like, “Groceries, Wren. Concentrate on what you can actually do. Concentrate on what you need right now. Groceries. Rent. Bills.”
I hesitate to, say, go to the Smart dealership and look around because I feel like I’ll be wasting the salesperson’s time if I don’t have the ability to sign on the dotted line today. But that’s exactly what I need to do. I need to go and sit in the car, and imagine owning it, and feel what it’s like in there. I need to act, with confidence, like I’ve got all the funds in the world. Because otherwise, I’m just sending the universe mixed messages.
So my assignment, if I choose to accept it, is to go and drool over Smartcars, and possibly annoy some innocent salesperson asking about getting it in that nifty brown color. It’s not wasting their time or mine, if this prompts the universe to channel the funds to me, and then I go back and find that nice salesperson and buy the car a month from now. That will be my dance of confidence.
So what dance do you need to do to move forward, and show the universe that you fully believe you’re doing it? Leave a comment – let’s give ourselves homework assignments!